RAGE!

So I've been in a rage mood for a fucking WEEK straight!! It all started with my mother at a friends house. They were having a little get together with some co-workers, my mother and her bf were invited. I went cuz Leo picked me up from work from the party. I got to have a lot of laughs and met Beena's sister. She's really chill. I like her. She's leaving back to Germany later today.
Anyways. It all started when I wanted a Smirnoff. A fucking SMIRNOFF!! They're like SODA! They don't have that much alcohol in it (4.5%) and I'd have to drink a lot of em to get drunk. I got one from the fridge and she was just like "Uhh excuse me, what are you doing? You're underage. Put it back." After a min or two, Leo got in my face to put it back. Then fricken Mayhone(host of the party) got into it. Beena was the only one who was on my side. After a few mins with fighting with everyone, I just put the fucking thing back. Then like 10 mins after that, Leo gave me half of what was left of his Smirnoff. Btw, Apple Smirnoff SUUUCKS! Raspberry is the way to go. :)
Then throughout the rest of the party or whatever, Lisa was still pissing me off with the little things she was doing. Like pretending that she ACTUALLY gave a rats ass about me. You know what BITCH, you're 19 fucking years too late. So stfu and leave me alone. I'm 19, not fucking 5. I can do whatever the FUCK I want withOUT your goddamn permission!!

THEN!! When we were going home, her and Leo were talking about a going away party that was the next day.. Or later that day cuz it was already Saturday. How they wanted to see Paranormal Activity 2 and cuz of it, would only pop in for a beer or two, then say they had to leave and go see the movie. UUGH! I told them that I wanted to see the movie, they're response "We don't have any money. We're paying for ourselves." Then you know what, YOU can watch your OWN fucking baby! I'm tired of being free babysitting. You bitches need to get your fucking priorities straight; If you don't have money, then don't spend it on the fucking movies! Or going out to eat!
So the next day when she wanted me to watch the baby, my friend invited me for CiCi's. So I went and stupid Lisa got pissed at me. "Oh you knew you were gonna watch the baby tonight" You know what Bitch, I told you I wasn't going to. Not my fault you didn't fucking listen to me.

I was FUMING ALL fucking week cuz of what happened. It was made TEN times WORSE Friday. Friday I had to take the bus to work. Well I missed the original bus that I usually take. So I had to go a different route. I hadn't eaten ALL fucking day; I was HUNGRY. When I got to work, I thought Leo was there. I was gonna borrow like 5 bucks from him. When I try to find him, I find out that he's not at work; he called in. FUUCK! D= I told Sean, my trainer, and he said that he'd text Leo about getting me 5bucks. Leo NEVER answered his fucking texts. But a girl in my training class gave me a Snickers bar. It wasn't much, but hey; it was something.
When I got out of work, I asked Leo about the 5bucks and he was like "I'm not made of money" and blah, blah, blah. Then my fucking "mother" had to chime in; "We had a late dinner with his parents." Whatever. I looked on fucking facebook later that night when I got home. They had dinner at a fucking sushi restaurant. I'm pretty sure his parents don't know of any sushi places. Not to mention that I'm PRETTY sure that they wouldn't have approved of them bringing like 5 friends to dinner with them. Fucking asshole liars! I'M at work starving, meanwhile THEY'RE stuffing their fat asses with fucking sushi. That is EXTREMELY FUCKED UP!

My mother puts up a facade that she wants people to see. She doesn't want them to know the true her deep down inside. The true uncaring, selfish, hypocritical, degrading, unsupportive, lying BITCH that she is. Everyone always asks me, "You talk to your mother like that? OMG! She's your mother!" OMG! Like, she didn't give a DAMN about me when I was growing up. Some of the few early memories that I can remember of her, she's laying on the fucking couch watching tv. Yeah, she really cares about me. I think back on it know and I realize that she was more like a babysitter than a mother. I don't give a DAMN how young she was when she had me; you're supposed to unconditionally love your children until you die. Not treat them like fucking mistakes and hate them. She never once told me that she loved me. Or that she cared about me. Not ONCE. Never really hugged me. NOTHING. Always tried to dump me off on my grandma when she wanted to go out. She's not a mother; she's a fucking monster!
When I wanted that Smirnoff at Mayhone's, she was like "I never drank underage." BULL-FUCKING-SHIT! I remember PLENTY of fucking times you drank when you weren't of age! I remember you smoking cigarettes and POT! I remember pot a couple of times! I remember about 3 or 4yrs ago searching through her room and finding her pot pipe. She tells me not to do things, yet SHE did them her fucking self! You know what, I HATE hypocrites SOO fucking much! Don't you DARE tell me to NOT do something when you yourSELF did them! Or still do!! I will loose ALL fucking resepct I have for you. Even if I DON'T have respect for you, I WILL hate you even more.

I can see now why Leo's entire family hates her. About 2mos ago, Leo's extended family came into town to see the baby. At one of the dinners, she was told by TWO different family members that the whole family hated her. And that the only reason they tolerated her was cuz she had the baby. I'm sorry, but I do NOT feel bad for her, even for a second! She had that coming to her. Leo's family is supportive, kind, loving, caring. She is the EXTREME opposite. I have NO idea why Leo's even with her. Maybe he likes being abused and putdown. IDK. And I don't really care either. If he's willing to withstand the abuse, maybe they're ment for each other.

Don't you DARE try to be a mother to me. Especially in front of people! You're 19 years too fucking late for that shit. I DON'T need you and I DON'T like you! We will NEVER have the relationship that a normal mother - daughter does. You know what; I DON'T want it.

Song!

I know, I'm a day late. But whatever. Today's song isn't gonna be just one; it's gonna be 3. :)

All 3 songs come from the movie Cold Mountain. It's one of my favorite movies. I like the pretty music, the beautiful scenery and the wonderful acting. And Renee Zellwenger won Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress. :)

The 3 songs are The Scarlet Tide, You Will Be My Ain True Love and I'm Coming Home.
The Scarlet Tide plays during the credits. It, as well as You Are My Ain True Love, are sung by Country singer Alison Krauss. The Scarlet Tide was nominated for Academy Award for Best Original Song. But it lost. :(
You Will Be My Ain True Love is playing during the battle scene. (btw: Ain basicly means Own. You are my own true love)
I'm Coming Home is sung by the townfolk near the beginning of the movie when they find out that they're going to war. I like the way it's sung. It's very pretty.

Without further aideu, here are the 3 songs. ♥








(here are the lyrics for I'm Going Home)
Farewell, vain world! I'm going home! My savior smiles and bids me come, And I don't care to stay here long! Sweet angels beckon me away, To sing God's praise in endless day, And I don't care to stay here long! Right up yonder, Christians, away up yonder, O, yes my Lord, for I don't care to stay here long. I'm glad that I am born to die, From grief and woe my soul shall fly, And I don't care to stay here long! Bright angels shall convey me home, Away to New Jerusalem, And I don't care to stay here long. Right up yonder, Christians, away up yonder, O, yes my Lord, for I don't care to stay here long. Right up yonder, Christians, away up yonder, O, yes my Lord, for I don't care to stay here long

Job pt3

Guess who has a job???!! :D

I DOO!!! ♥♥♥♥

I went in for another interview Thursday. This time it was for Sony. I answered some questions and I got the job! :) I start Oct 18th. I'll be making $9/hr starting off. I had some laughs with the guy interviewing me cuz he knows my mother and her bf. Him and Leo always pretend that they hate each other. Even in front of the other workers. It's funny. :)
Right after the interview and the signing of papers saying that I was hired, I went to do a drug test. I had to pee in a cup!!! I didn't have to do that with my other job! But whatever. It was fine. I got free coffee and a yummy granola bar that had peanut butter on it. ♥

When I got home after the interview, I had to watch my baby bro. I set up the Xbox and started playing Left 4 Dead 2. I played for an hr or 2. Then got really tired. I couldn't go to bed though cuz I had to watch Tristan. Aand I forgot his stupid bottle. -_- So he was really fussy. Ugh! ><>

Job pt2

They called me back!! :D
I went in for an actual interview Friday. I filled out some papers, asking the same usual stuff. Then a man asked me alot of questions to situations that I would probably be into and asked what I would do during them. He also asked me all the computer operating systems, like Windows & mac, that I was familiar with. Along with cell phones, and if I was familiar with Playstation. Which I am. And also asked if I was familiar with the company.
A guy from Wild Blue, a satelite internet company, interviewed me. He said that I would be working for their call section if I was hired.
When the interview was done, he said that they would keep my file on the active file list and call me back within 7-10 days. I'm pretty sure that I NAILED the interview. So I'm very confidant that I'll get the job. I was a little confused though that I was being interviewed for Wild Blue. I thought I was gonna be with PS. But whatever. After working there for 6mos, you can transfer campaigns. :) So if and when I get the job, I'll work for Wild Blue until I'm able to go over to PS. ♥

After the interview, which took about 30mins to complete, I waited outside for my mother to get out. I waited about 40mins. While waiting, I was playing Yoshi's Island on GBA and listening to music. :D I am HELLA surprised that my GBA STILL works!! It's been through soo much shit, I'm really surprised. But hella happy cuz you know those things can LAST! ♥
Mind you, my GBA is the horizontal one. It's not the one that flips (GBA SP) I lost my SP. :( I have NOO idea wtf happened to it. I was really sad that it was gone. But the reg. GBA is good too. I just don't like how it doesn't have a light on it. Without the light, I can't play the GBA in the dark. :(


(The GBA I have. ♥♥)

Friday's Song

Friday's song!! :D Today's song is Shape of My Heart by Sting.

I originally heard this during a small performance by a Trumpet player. I forgot the man's name. But he played trumpet during songs. Some of the songs were performed by singers. Sting was one of them. Another was Josh Groban. Sting sung Shape of My Heart. I LOVED it. But I didn't know the name of the song.
A week ago, my friend and I watched The Professional. A VERY good movie staring a very young Natalie Portman and Frenchman Jean Reno. Shape of My Heart plays during the credits. :) But I still didn't know the actual name of the song until the other day. I looked it up cuz I thought it to be a VERY pretty song. I'm glad I did cuz it's a good song. I like it.

Without further delay, Here's Shape of My Heart by Sting!! ♥♥